How to Be More Mindful: Interview with Tanya Valle
It’s been almost 2 years since Tanya and I met in an elevator one early morning in Manhattan, and she’s been enriching my life ever since as a collaborator, coach, and friend. She’s taught me small ways to integrate mindfulness in my everyday life, and if I can do it so can you…(especially helpful for holidays and new year!)
What was the highlight of your summer?
Visiting Istanbul and seeing the Hagia Sophia and taking a gulet out of Bodrum, Turkey to cruise off the beaten path Greek Islands. I especially loved Patmos for its religious significance.
How do you define mindfulness?
Mindfulness is just bringing your attention to the present moment and accepting is as it is, without judgment. Not labeling it good or bad, right or wrong. It’s bringing a moment(s) of pause to the constant loop of thinking. We’re usually thinking either of the future or the past, and not present in mind or body which wears us out. And studies show it harms our health.
How did you get into mindfulness and meditation? And what inspired you to become a mindfulness coach?
I was seeking relief from anxiety and panic attacks and learned about Transcendental Meditation (TM) which I’ve been doing for the past five years. I’ve experienced and believe in the benefits of meditation, it helps me feel better and increases my ability to focus, concentrate, be more productive and manage my emotions. I wanted to bring it to other people, especially underserved communities. I became certified in Mindfulness and Loving-Kindness meditation and now teach others.
What have been your biggest insights from doing this work?
That when you calm the body, you calm the mind. And that thoughts are just thoughts, they’re neither good or bad. When we stop judging things (or people), we’re a lot happier, peaceful, accepting and calm.
Finding time to practice mindfulness can be difficult. Do you have any practical tips for people to integrate mindfulness into their everyday lives?
Sure. Practicing Mindfulness doesn’t have to be about sitting and meditating. Doing simple things like listening for sound (even your own breath) or noticing what you see, hear or feel can bring you into the present moment which is what Mindfulness is. These are things we can do anytime--in a meeting, commuting or during work. As Sharon Salzberg says, Mindfulness isn’t hard, we just have to remember to do it.
You and I recently led a Mindful Communication session for women together. Do you have any recommended articles/books/sites to read on this topic?
Yes, thanks for the joy of working with you! Here’s what I recommend:
Harvard Business Review: regular articles on all things Mindfulness
The Art of Communicating by Thich Nhat Hanh (My partner and I read this before getting married and I also recommend!)
How to be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo
Since we love to talk about our fears and following them, can you describe a time when you followed a fear or pushed yourself outside your comfort zone, and what you learned?
Yes, I just had an experience of doing both. I recently was a guest speaker at a Google conference for women in tech, I talked about how to be a mindful leader of yourself and others. It was my first time speaking in front of such a large group and I was nervous. I learned to just be myself i.e. natural and to trust that what I have to share is of value. The feedback was warm, positive, inquisitive and uplifting. Whew.
Anything else you’d like to share?
I’d like to end by saying find what works for you, what helps you be the best version of you. Honor yourself. You deserve it and are worth it.