Lisa Pertoso lives at the intersection of rage and laughter.

She’s a satire writer, improv performer, and middle ager. Follow her latest words on Medium.

Satire + Humor:

McSweeney’s

Attending a New Year’s Eve Party or Getting a Mammogram?

Based on Quotes from Last Night’s Dinner, Do My Parents Want me to Give Them a Grandkid or Join a Multilevel Marketing Scheme?

The Belladonna Comedy

The 10 Commandments of Thy Perimenopausal Vagina

I, Youngish White Guy, Respect You, 8 Months Pregnant Woman…Too Much To Offer You My Seat

Hank the Tank, the 500lb Black Bear, Issues a Sort of Apology About His Recent Behavior

Greener Pastures

I, Your Cool Tech CEO, Give You This Sunday Off for World Mental Health Day

A Tick’s Guide to Hiking for City Dwellers

Slackjaw

Escape Room: Pandemic Toddler Mom Edition   

Points in Case

Man Delivery Kits for the Single Lady

Frazzled

This Family’s New Hybrid Policy From CEO, Mom

Sammiches & Psych Meds: MockMom

Things I’ve Said to My 3 YO Son That I’ve Also Said to Men I’ve Dated

Functionally Dead Magazine

Don’t Miss this Once-in-a-lifetime Opportunity to Own the Most Exclusive Property on Earth…Santa’s North Pole Estate! (page 21 of PDF)

Canada’s National Observer (co-written with Paul Razzell)

Margaret Atwood’s cease-and-desist letter to the United States for plagiarizing the plot of The Handmaid’s Tale

Elon Musk shares brutal eggnog recipe

Rumours from COP27: Egypt offers Greta Thunberg protest space inside King Tut’s tomb

Quiz: Has sensational weather reporting desensitized you to danger — or made you paranoid?

Personal Essays:

INSIDER: After a fight, my boyfriend walked out of my apartment. He never came back.

GLAMOUR: I Challenged Myself to Go on 100 First Dates. Here's What Happened...

WOMEN’S HEALTH: I've Gone On 99 First Dates in Four Years and I'm Still Standing