Lisa Pertoso is a satire and personal essay writer, improv performer, and middle-ager based in NYC.
She writes at the intersection of rage and laughter about feminism, capitalism, relationships, and raising humans in all the –isms. Subscribe to her Substack to read her latest words.
Satire + Humor:
McSweeney’s
Attending a New Year’s Eve Party or Getting a Mammogram?
Slackjaw
MTV Reboots Hit Reality Shows For Perimenopausal Women
Escape Room: Pandemic Toddler Mom Edition
The Belladonna Comedy
The Six Stages Of iPad Screen Tipping (co-written with Lily Hirsch)
The 10 Commandments of Thy Perimenopausal Vagina
I, Youngish White Guy, Respect You, 8 Months Pregnant Woman…Too Much To Offer You My Seat
Hank the Tank, the 500lb Black Bear, Issues a Sort of Apology About His Recent Behavior
Points in Case
Man Delivery Kits for the Single Lady
Canada’s National Observer (co-written with Paul Razzell)
Elon Musk shares brutal eggnog recipe
Rumours from COP27: Egypt offers Greta Thunberg protest space inside King Tut’s tomb
Quiz: Has sensational weather reporting desensitized you to danger — or made you paranoid?
Frazzled
This Family’s New Hybrid Policy From CEO, Mom
Greener Pastures
I, Your Cool Tech CEO, Give You This Sunday Off for World Mental Health Day
A Tick’s Guide to Hiking for City Dwellers
Chortle
My Kid Has Bubonic Plague, But Is Still Excited for Today’s Playdate!
Functionally Dead Magazine
Don’t Miss this Once-in-a-lifetime Opportunity to Own the Most Exclusive Property on Earth…Santa’s North Pole Estate! (page 21 of PDF)
Sammiches & Psych Meds: MockMom
Things I’ve Said to My 3 YO Son That I’ve Also Said to Men I’ve Dated
Personal Essays:
INSIDER: After a fight, my boyfriend walked out of my apartment. He never came back.
GLAMOUR: I Challenged Myself to Go on 100 First Dates. Here's What Happened...
WOMEN’S HEALTH: I've Gone On 99 First Dates in Four Years and I'm Still Standing